Letter to Complain

A young Italian had stayed at the YMCA hotel in London. He wasn't satisfied with his stay, and sent this complaint to the manager:
Dear Signore Direttore,

Now I am telling you story how I was treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a young christian man at your hotella. When I comma to my room I see there is no sheet on my bed.

So I calla down to receptione and tella: " I wanta sheet." They tella me: "You go to toilet." "No, no you don't understanda me. I wanta sheet in my bed! " "You better not shit in your bed, you son of a bitch! "

What is sonna-wa-beach? I ago downe for breakfast in ristorante. I order egg and bacon and two pieces of toast. I getta only one piece of toast.

I tella waitress and point at toast: "I wanta piece! "
She tella me: " You go to the toilet. "
"No, no I wanta piece on my plate! "
"You bloody well not piss on the plate! You go to the toilet!"

Why is your staff always saying "Go to toilet?" Is that a modern British tella? You know, I am 23 years old and I know for myself when I wanta go to toilet.

Then in the evening I ago downe to ristorante for dinner. Spoon and knife is laid out on the table. But no fork.

I tella waitress: "I wanta fork!"
And she tella me: " Sure, everybody wanta fuck."
"No, no you don't understand me. I wanta fork on the table."
"So you want to fuck on this table? Get your pass out of here! "

How comma this christian hotella tella the guests in such a bad manner?

So I go down to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotella no morro.

When I have a-paid the a-billa the portier say to me: "Thank you, and peace on you." I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-beach, I now go back to Italy."

Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no morro, you sonna-wa-beach.

Sincerely,
Luigi Brampiano,
Roma

:finger:

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It's better when you have an Italian saying the joke to you b/c I was told this joke a few weeks ago and I laughed the whole way through. :o

I heard that a long ways ago, went a little different but it was about 2 years

:p