Please CLOSE THE LID!!!

Over the years, I have been to many funerals..... my Italian - Catholic relatives have large extended families where it is expected to attend funerals, regardless of how distantly related you are to the deceased.

Many families respect a closed casket for the deceased, but all my Catholic relatives expect (and provide) an OPEN casket.... where everyone can see the deceased, regardless of how bad they look.

IMO this is highly undignified at best, and usually just sad. I would much rather remember the bright, vigorous and alive person I knew, and not their wizened corpse. Trust me...... by the time someone dies they NEVER look good regardless of how much make-up is piled on.

I would have thought most people would feel this way and would want the lid closed.... so relatives can remember better times. I really do not understand why people would want such a lack of dignity to be seen - dead - and tarted up with make - up and colors they never wore when they were alive.

Some have suggested this custom was so others can verify the identity and condition of the deceased. That may have been okay in the Middle - Ages, but aren't we more sophisticated and trustworthy these days?

When I go..... please..... nail the lid closed.

when i go, just let the medical profession harvest my organs, creamate me, then scatter my ashes in the atlantic ocean...

that way, i'll help others out & save the burden of funeral costs to my family at the same time!

Some have suggested this custom was so others can verify the identity and condition of the deceased. That may have been okay in the Middle - Ages, but aren't we more sophisticated and trustworthy these days?


I think it's just one of those closure activities. Some people need that.

AFAIC, burn my ass up and flush me. I won't know the difference if I'm dead.

I thought this was going to be about toilet lids when I clicked on it

I think for some it is for closure. They get to see their relative "resting" peacefully. My family normally has open casket funerals (most of which I don't attend). When the funeral home allows many like to stay the night at the funeral home with the corpse. (Sitting up with the dead) My mother insisted on an open casket funeral for my father. Although, I still don't really see the point, I must admit, he did look better than when I found him.

I think for some it is for closure. They get to see their relative "resting" peacefully. My family normally has open casket funerals (most of which I don't attend). When the funeral home allows many like to stay the night at the funeral home with the corpse. (Sitting up with the dead) My mother insisted on an open casket funeral for my father. Although, I still don't really see the point, I must admit, he did look better than when I found him.

Ouch... :frown: My condolences.

Of course all funerals are about closure, and if the open lid works best for people, so be it.

I am somewhat dismayed, though, at some funerals, the condition or appearance of the deceased becomes the subject of gossip for some mourners. I guess this is how some cope with the specter of death. Like some who rely on macabre humour, others gossip.......