Some thoughts
replicant_008
02-05-2003, 05:12 AM
Well it's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride in the past few weeks. I took a couple of weeks off during Christmas and New Year to acquaint myself with old friends - many who'd travelled from afar to share time, complete my advanced recreational scuba training, sail, play golf and enjoy the company of my friends and family.
In the past few weeks, I've watched Orca off the coast under a setting sun, watched dolphins by the phospheresence of plankton ride the bow-wave of the yacht I've sailed, swum among stingrays through an arch at 110 feet beneath the surface, spent a day with a close friend enjoying the fruits of my labors and the good things in life. Again this weekend I'll enjoy the friendship of friends, wine, food and great conversation.
At the office, I've been slowly sorting through things (I know DVS will understand when it's difficult finding the feet when everyone looks to you for guidance and leadership). I've grown accustomed though not comfortable with the challenges of motivating and leading teams.
But the reason that this post is not in philosophizing and is sitting in Stress Release is that I've only just realised I am observing two of my closest friends go through a pyhrric destruction of their long-term relationship. And it's difficult when I'm so close to both - both have confided in me as they know of all their friends I will listen and not judge.
It's really hard to be impartial - not to breach the confidence of either. There are times when I think I could have nudged one of them out of their comfort zone and stopped the drifting apart that has happened. But as their mutual friend I've never regarded that my role is to judge or advise (and from my point of view my own relationships have never been ideal nor strong in longevity).
Part of me wants to let them sort the mess out. There's a million and one issues and loose ends for them to tie up. So I said to both of them that know where to find me, contact me if they wish and I'll be there for either one to listen, provide empathy and care.
I can see why therapists cost so much these days and I'm no permanent ambulance driver - but I think this time I really need to be there for both of them, individually or together.
Well I guess it's off my chest... and I guess the passing of years and the dimming of my eyes doesn't necessarily confer wisdom.
In the past few weeks, I've watched Orca off the coast under a setting sun, watched dolphins by the phospheresence of plankton ride the bow-wave of the yacht I've sailed, swum among stingrays through an arch at 110 feet beneath the surface, spent a day with a close friend enjoying the fruits of my labors and the good things in life. Again this weekend I'll enjoy the friendship of friends, wine, food and great conversation.
At the office, I've been slowly sorting through things (I know DVS will understand when it's difficult finding the feet when everyone looks to you for guidance and leadership). I've grown accustomed though not comfortable with the challenges of motivating and leading teams.
But the reason that this post is not in philosophizing and is sitting in Stress Release is that I've only just realised I am observing two of my closest friends go through a pyhrric destruction of their long-term relationship. And it's difficult when I'm so close to both - both have confided in me as they know of all their friends I will listen and not judge.
It's really hard to be impartial - not to breach the confidence of either. There are times when I think I could have nudged one of them out of their comfort zone and stopped the drifting apart that has happened. But as their mutual friend I've never regarded that my role is to judge or advise (and from my point of view my own relationships have never been ideal nor strong in longevity).
Part of me wants to let them sort the mess out. There's a million and one issues and loose ends for them to tie up. So I said to both of them that know where to find me, contact me if they wish and I'll be there for either one to listen, provide empathy and care.
I can see why therapists cost so much these days and I'm no permanent ambulance driver - but I think this time I really need to be there for both of them, individually or together.
Well I guess it's off my chest... and I guess the passing of years and the dimming of my eyes doesn't necessarily confer wisdom.
speediva
02-05-2003, 08:34 AM
About the only thing I can say to that is, You'd be surprised just how much you know.
tonioseven
02-05-2003, 12:45 PM
You seem like a really great friend; I hope all goes well for the both of them.:grey:
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