Mother in law.. anyone want one?

So I have come to the realization that my mother in law is a complete nut job. She doesn't call (which is a good thing lately), thinks all her problems are the worst on the planet, and can't even send her own daughter a birthday card. My parents treat my wife better than her mother does. When the witch does call, she's usually drunk and wondering why we don't go there anymore or why we don't call. I refuse to answer the phone when she calls because I'm afraid of what I'm going to say to her. Now she's fighting with my wife's grandmother, and its all over stupid little things. Anyone want a mother in law without the hassle of getting married? I'll gladly ship her anywhere, so long as its far far far away from me.

Can she cook?

Can she cook?

Does burning water count? Seriously, not very well. Things tend to be overcooked.

Does she taste like chicken? :evillol:

BTW, your username and the thread title reminded me there is a ski run in Australia called "Mother In Law". :)

Do I dare ask what kind of run it is? Does it live up to the name?

Yes and yes. :D

I had thought about putting an ad up somewhere.. Free to a rotten home, one used mother in law.... Think it would work?

Nah, too old school. Put her on eBay.

Do what we did, move away from her.

We now live 11 hours drive from the in-laws, they won't fly anywhere so it makes it even better as they don't want to do the long drive either. Icing on the cake is we're too busy to drive or fly to where they are so I don't have to see the old krone more than once a year :)

We're a good distance away as it is, far enough for them to call before they come over, but close enough so they go home that day. If we move any farther away then they would have to stay overnight, and I'd be too tempted to smother the witch or something.