How many Auckland school students does it take to change a light bulb?

This will be totaly meaningless to anyone not from Auckland, but theres enough of us here so:



Diocesan: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Papakura: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to figure out how
to get high from the first

St Kentigerns: None. They're all too arrogant at first to notice that
its dark, and even when they spot a hole they just put their penis in
it.

Marcellin: None. They can still catch sheep by torch-light anyway.

St Cuthberts: One. She'll call the maintenance staff because there is
no way she's going to do any manual labour.

Kings: 71 - One to change it and 70 to protect them from the bad people
over the fence.

Epsom Girls: Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons
are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at
all times.

Macleans College: None- All the boys are too busy doing their mascara
and the girls are too busy fighting over them.

St. Peters: Any one of them. They're all well-practiced at using their
hands.

Manurewa High: None - The teachers will get their wooden dildos on the
case.

Papatoetoe: One to install it plus a news crew to report the most
monumental thing a student from the school has ever achieved.

Waiheke Island: None. Incense burners and glow-in-the-dark condoms
offer good enough light for an orgy anyhow.

Otahuhu: Five. Four to break into the store and steal the bulb and one
to install it.

Macauley: None. It's too unsafe for pregnant girls to do such a
dangerous task.

Henderson: Ten. One to change the bulb, one to call the dealer and
eight to have a session while they wait.

Waitakere: None. Everything that hasn't been welded down was flogged
long ago.

Tamaki: None. The principal's car is still in the school carkpark
smoldering from last night anyhow.

Metro: None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging school.

Carmel: None. They only have to give head to the Rosmini boys and it's
done for them.

Mt Albert Grammar: Four. - One to change the bulb and three to count
how many times he talks about rugby or fucking someone's mother.

St Pauls: None - Dey dont have light bulbs in da islands aye?!

Selwyn: None- What's the point in lighting a classroom when no one
goes to class?

Howick: The whole school - all they ever want is a screw!

Mt. Albert Girls: None. They're too busy fucking the teachers.

Green Bay: None, no one can read the instructions on how to do it

Avondale College: Ahhh what's a lightbulb again??

James Cook: None. Burning tires do the job just as well. Especially
around the neck of the school geek who passed fifth form.

Auckland Boys Grammar: 101 plus 1 teacher - One to actually change the bulb, a teacher to assess his performance and another 100 students to measure and rate him against.

Nga Tupuae: None. - They just pray the Ministry of Education will
declare the whole school completely fucked and finally close it.

Sacred Heart: Two + 1 Brother + 1 lawyer - One Polynesian import to
change the bulb, 1 white kid to explain how to him, the Brother to molest them both and the lawyer to ensure that it all stays 'hush, hush' and the school's reputation is in no way adversely affected.

Takapuna Grammar School: 45 + a riot squad to defend the local
neighbourhood when binge drinking students discover the light bulbs are more effective as weapons while at the local out-of-control Shore party that is inevitable come the weekend.

Senior High: None - K-Road always has lots of lights on anyway.

Pakuranga: Six - One to steal a book on home maintenance from the local library, one to translate it from Cantonese, one to electrocute herself installing it and three more to do the same as part of their 'special pact'.

Rosmini: Six. - One to download pictures of how to screw from the
Internet and five more to clean up the subsequent sticky mess.

Rose Hill: Four - One to fill out SIPS forms. One to throw rocks at the
social worker. One to cry about his bedwetting and one to sneak in when no-one can see and change the bulb before he gets a hiding for being such a queer.

Tangaroa: Eighteen - Seventeen to have a rumble with the electrician.
One to get his mate from PD on Saturday to come install it in exchange
for some speakers.

Mt. Roskill: None. - Generations of inbreeding have rendered them
incapable of such complex tasks.

Penrose: None - The place looks better in the dark anyway.

Pukekohe: None - The school will be ashes before anyone figures out how to do it anyway, so why bother?

Kristin: None, the light from their personal laptops lights up the room
just fine.

Corren: None. Lightbulbs only blow out for poor people.

Lynfield College: They use candles sorry.

Rangitoto: 100 plus a team policing unit plus parents - 100 kids to use
the dark as an excuse to steal their parents alcohol, have a party and
trash the house. A team policing unit to break up the party and arrest
them. Parents to vehemently deny that their precious darlings would do
such a thing.

Westlake Girls: None - the staff at the abortion clinics do that sort
of thing.

Baradene: None - Ugly chicks must be kept in darkness.

Westlake Boys: None they would use the dark as an opportunity to do
something latently homo-erotic.

Auckland Girls Grammar: Five - 1 to put the bulb in, and the other 4 to
kiss them good luck.

Edgewater: Forty - One to install it and 39 losers with nothing better
to do than watch.

hehe:hehehe: nice, and so true too!

.........and where did you go to school Moppie?:devil:

Originally posted by taranaki
.........and where did you go to school Moppie?:devil:


Guess. :finger:
Its in the list.

Howick?:p

Originally posted by darkness
Howick?:p , Nah I think Green Bay!!! :p :D :hehehe:

j/k :)

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
, Nah I think Green Bay!!! :p :D :hehehe:


No, but its gets a better rap in the list than the school I did goto.

And its not Howick either, although Its the school I would have gone to had I wanted to catch a bus every damn day.


And just where did the rest of you go to school?
I know theres a few shore boys and westies in here.. :p

Originally posted by Moppie


No, but its gets a better rap in the list than the school I did goto.

And its not Howick either, although Its the school I would have gone to had I wanted to catch a bus every damn day.


And just where did the rest of you go to school?
I know theres a few shore boys and westies in here.. :p I didn't go to any of them. I went to school in Sydney. Moondog went to Avondale college! :p

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
I didn't go to any of them. I went to school in Sydney. Moondog went to Avondale college! :p

So in that case I guess both of you just goto bed when it gets dark, since neither of you know what a light bulb is...... :p :p

Originally posted by Moppie


So in that case I guess both of you just goto bed when it gets dark, since neither of you know what a light bulb is...... :p :p Hey who needs lightbulbs! :p

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Hey who needs lightbulbs! :p


Hey its West Auckland after all, theres more than enough light to make dinner coming off the pile of burning tyres on the frount lawn...

i don't get it ???? whats it all mean?


o well like i care anywayz could you at least post a map and explaination thanks all the same :bandit:

Originally posted by Moppie
This will be totaly meaningless to anyone not from Auckland,


:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

;)

Best thread ever!

Originally posted by jay@af
Best thread ever!

Maate!!

Now all you have to do is replace the names of the Auckland schools with schools form your area, and send it in a few emails.......



oh, and I always start, and contribute to the best threads. I just cant help it..... :smoker2: :smoker2:

Originally posted by Moppie
Diocesan: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.


too true.

Originally posted by Moppie
Henderson: Ten. One to change the bulb, one to call the dealer and
eight to have a session while they wait.

Waitakere: None. Everything that hasn't been welded down was flogged
long ago.


both true and totally funny

Originally posted by Moppie
Westlake Boys: None they would use the dark as an opportunity to do
something latently homo-erotic.


Could this be Moppies old school:frog:

and no mine is NOT on the list. I went to Orewa College:rolleyes:

Originally posted by tazdev


Could this be Moppies old school:frog:



Wrong side of the Bridge :finger:

and are you telling me they have schools in Orewa? :lol2:

Originally posted by Moppie




Sacred Heart: Two + 1 Brother + 1 lawyer - One Polynesian import to
change the bulb, 1 white kid to explain how to him, the Brother to molest them both and the lawyer to ensure that it all stays 'hush, hush' and the school's reputation is in no way adversely affected.



hehe, next week it is my turn to expain to the Tongan kid how to screw in a 60 Watt, but the brother molesing part :eek: Ya cheeky bugger :finger4:

Originally posted by Moppie



Bardaene- none, ugly girls must be kept in the dark


so true

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
Ya cheeky bugger

:huh: :huh: wayyy wrong choice of words man.

As much as i dont know about the schools up there its the best laugh i've had for ages !!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D

Rangitoto: 100 plus a team policing unit plus parents - 100 kids to use the dark as an excuse to steal their parents alcohol, have a party and trash the house. A team policing unit to break up the party and arrest them. Parents to vehemently deny that their precious darlings would do such a thing

Hmm, nowdays at Rangi it would be a couple of thousand, not a hundred. But atleast my school didn't get an insulting one! :D
Just because we cause the massive shore parties.

Though there is one missing school, Long Bay. But they are too busy getting high to change lightbulbs.

sarujin