If Microsoft made cars

Just a bit of daftness. My appologies if this is a repost.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have
to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

haha :lol: thats great

I've heard that one before somewhere but I still think it's funny.

I'd rather have a car that runs awesome, but only goes on 5% of the roads... I have a bike running Linux that will go on the rest. :lol2:

I have a bike running Linux that will go on the rest. :lol2:


Is that a Debian Ducatti or a Red Hat Yamaha?

I love it!!:lol:

that was a good one..
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

I posted that some time ago........

Not sure how recent the computer expo was, as I remember seeing this in Car & Driver back in like '97! :D

I'd forgotten most of them though, and they're still funny :D

Sent that one to everyone in the cubicals next to me lol good post!

wow, new to me. i am without question saving this.

anyone out there own a mac?

anyone out there own a mac?

I have to use a Mac at school, and I have decided that...

http://img52.exs.cx/img52/2450/88-untitled.png

I have to use a Mac at school, and I have decided that...

http://img52.exs.cx/img52/2450/88-untitled.png
:lol2:

I actually like using Macs, but live in a very Windows household, so have not had as much chance to use them as I would like...

I've never seen it...good stuff! :lol2:

Gretat pic though, *forward to all MAC users I know*

Thats awsome loved number 8 :lol2:

11. If you attempt to turn on the radio, air conitioner, lights, and windshield wiper at the same time, an hour glass will appear meaning that nothing is being done in which case you will need to restart your car.

11. If you attempt to turn on the radio, air conitioner, lights, and windshield wiper at the same time, an hour glass will appear meaning that nothing is being done in which case you will need to restart your car.

I like that one, and soooo true

a couple of months ago someone else posted the same thing...funny as hell by the way... :lol2:

so true and awesome!

All hail the mighty Igor.........

http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2346

Posted 3 years ago,almost to the day.

never heard this one before


cant stop laughting

:lol: congrats

Just a bit of daftness. My appologies if this is a repost.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have
to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.





That's just funny
I don't care WHO you are.

Attempting to separate the complexities of making any computer function as a consumer product, from the idiosyncracies of a generic operating system, I might see this:
Firstly, GM would stand for Gates Motors. (erie, huh?)
While driving on the World Wide highway, about five percent (or less) of the drivers I would encounter would be driving a little "fruit" car. These cars might look very groovy- much groovier than mine, and have some sort of fruit emblem, like on the rear spoiler- or even have fruit-shaped headlights!
These drivers would probably make a practice of driving too-slow in the passing lane, and do things like cut me off in traffic or turn in front of me when talking contentedly on their cellphone. While doing this, they would no doubt be wearing some ultra-cool sunglasses, I think. I would always encounter these drivers, while in line for a way-too-expensive cup of coffee. I’d hear them lamenting about the fact that absolutely everyone who isn't driving a similar fruit car, is spending way too much money on a bighuge SUV. It might look that way from the inside of an apple.
They would brag about how their fruit cars would never rust, or go forever without an oil change- ignoring the fact that you really can’t even change the oil in a fruit car- it runs on sunshine!!
The fruit drivers would all go to the same dealership for their new fruit cars- because, well, there’s only one!
They would never admit how much they actually paid for their cars, and somehow the insurance for a fruit car would be more expensive.
The drivers of the fruit cars would never actually admit to smoking pot, but would all have the same bumper sticker of a rainbow colored……fruit. Hmmm.
Finally, after experimenting with these fruit cars in my college years (I actually had two fruit cars at one time!!), I would resign to a more sensible form of transportation. This will happen to you, too.
I can haul more, do more, mine’s bigger, louder, and faster. I can fix mine on the side of the WW highway with a micro screwdriver set and a Gates Motors mastercard. It doesn’t get more American that.
By the way, mine’s made in China, just like yours.
Apparently these fruit cars all have a new motor, though. I can’t remember the name, but it sounds like the slow kid from Charlie Brown. I’ve known about these for years- but without the “L”.

Busch is a tool.

Is that a Debian Ducatti or a Red Hat Yamaha?

Harley-Davidson Mandrake Edition

My house is generally a Mac oriented house. I have a 700mhz G3, 1.25ghz G4, and a 1ghz laptop.

But then again, we do a lot of computer graphics, so its necessary.

Apple Dual 867 Mhz. Yes, you heard me, not Ghz. ;)




Oh, and it's a Red Hat Yamaha... for now. :hehe:

#1 is real funny

:repost:

. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

Classic