new j0kes
Oz
07-06-2004, 06:31 AM
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled the women to achieve this reversal of roles?
The Kuwaiti woman replied "Land mines!"
---
There were 11 people hanging on to a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech on how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
---
Pat and Mike, both in their 90's, had played professional baseball together and, after they retired, had remained close friends. Pat suddenly fell deathly ill. Mike visited Pat on his deathbed. After they talked a while and it became obvious that Pat had only a few more minutes to live, Mike said, "Listen old friend. After you die, try and get a message back to me. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
With his dying breath, Pat whispers, "If God permits, I'll do my best to get you an answer."
A few days after Pat died, Mike is sleeping when he hears Pat's voice.
Pat says, "Mike, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, yes, there IS baseball in heaven. The bad news is, you're scheduled to pitch the top half of tomorrow's double-header."
---
While sports fishing off the Queensland coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of Gators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachbum standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "there ain't been any around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely towards the shore.
About halfway there he stopped and asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't" the beachbum said. "The sharks ate them."
She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled the women to achieve this reversal of roles?
The Kuwaiti woman replied "Land mines!"
---
There were 11 people hanging on to a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech on how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
---
Pat and Mike, both in their 90's, had played professional baseball together and, after they retired, had remained close friends. Pat suddenly fell deathly ill. Mike visited Pat on his deathbed. After they talked a while and it became obvious that Pat had only a few more minutes to live, Mike said, "Listen old friend. After you die, try and get a message back to me. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
With his dying breath, Pat whispers, "If God permits, I'll do my best to get you an answer."
A few days after Pat died, Mike is sleeping when he hears Pat's voice.
Pat says, "Mike, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, yes, there IS baseball in heaven. The bad news is, you're scheduled to pitch the top half of tomorrow's double-header."
---
While sports fishing off the Queensland coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of Gators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachbum standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "there ain't been any around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely towards the shore.
About halfway there he stopped and asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't" the beachbum said. "The sharks ate them."
Jimster
07-06-2004, 07:34 AM
:lol:
crayzayjay
07-06-2004, 08:13 AM
bahahahahaha :lol:
B16 SiRII
07-06-2004, 09:26 AM
:thumbsup: :lol2:
Raz_Kaz
07-06-2004, 09:33 AM
First one was a repot, last one was great and the ones in between were ok....good effort :thumbsup:
YogsVR4
07-06-2004, 09:40 AM
good stuff :lol:
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tonioseven
07-06-2004, 09:43 AM
Loved them!!!:sunglasse
FireBball972
07-06-2004, 10:39 AM
all of em are good :lol:
Karen512
07-06-2004, 10:42 AM
all of em are good :lol:
:iagree: :werd:
:iagree: :werd:
psychobadboy
07-06-2004, 10:45 AM
:lol:
Damien
07-06-2004, 05:06 PM
All were :thumbsup: :rofl:
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