so she just wants to be friends..WTF?

So get this I broke up with my G/F like 2 weeks ago and she tells me she just wants to be friends. She says its gonna be a little hard at first with the break up and all, I can understand that so I give her her space but we still talk. Yesterday she calls me so there we are talking, then for some reason she totally freaks out on me, saying a bunch of shit about how im obsessed with her and the only thing i said was I would like to see her on her birthday (which is just over a month away.) Its not like Im calling her or anything, she said she wants some space so I give it to her, everytime we have talked she started the converation, so there is no way you can tell me im obsessed with her. I miss her like crazy but its not like im sitting outside her house everynight or stalking her.Ok enough ranting. What I would like to know is when women say the want to be friends do they actually mean it? Should I take what she said as some kind of mood swing? Should I try to just totally block her from my life or is there a chance she really does want to be friends? If anyone should reply, I want you to be honest, dont bull shit me! I would also like the women out there to reply, I know most of the guys out there will tell me "Fuck that bitch move on!". I would like to know what a woman really thinks when she says " Lets be friends"

ok, women dont even know what women want....If she says she wants to be friends, then yuo have to do the impossible of pretending like you dont care for her all that much and try to keep friendship based convo's. NEVER bring up the past when you were both together, if she does then that's a sign she's thinking of it, meaning yuo still have a chance, if she doesnt bring it up, then it's only friends

:iagree:

I broke up with my gf like 2 1/2 months ago, and Im still trying to figure out how to act around her and to her. its hard and different after being together for so long, but I think the best thing for you to do is ask her to be blazingly clear with you what she wants. then play by her rules, and just be friends if thats what she wants (If thats not what you want, then you may have to resolve to just move on)

I know its over, right now thats the only thing Im really sure of. So far I have only brought up the past once, because I wasnt entirely sure it was over at that point. Just moving on isnt an option she is still going to be a big part of my life. Reguardless she still is friends with my friends, I need to resolve this without kicking her out of my life. Is this a normal thing when the woman leaves? Ive always been the one who's left before, I have never had them leave me. And ive gotta say this is like a million times worse because i still do love her.

Well then instead of playnig her game and not being honest....let her know that you still love her and it's going to be hard for you to be around her and act like yuo dont care. Since you know that it's over, do this, tell her you wanna stay friends (which is up to you) but take a long vacation from her. Cut all contact for a good week (trust me, it's longer than it sounds) and then avoid long convos with her.

:iagree: my gf and i had a kind of distance relationship to begin with, so after we broke up i talked to her maybe 5 or 6 times total in the following month or more
it was ahrd and weird at first, but were still friends now

don't kill yourself just yet, plenty of other fish in the sea...i like cars.

...i like cars.

:lol: always a good thing to get your mind off things!

The thing is if i break off all contact with her I break of all contact with my friends too, I know that sounds strange but unfortunatly thats the truth, we were hopefully still are a very close niche, in a way she kind of brought us all closer.I know right now I need some friends to talk to, I have already done some stupid things over her, (which i will not go into because I belive she does have a membership here and Id rather she not found out about them from here). Just cutting her out of my life is not an option, I need someone to talk to before I do more stupid things, If i cut her out then I loose everyone I could talk to about this

well not cut her out persay, but keep donig what youre doing. Do not go out of your way to contact her, if you run into her around town or whatever, then fine, but dont deliberatly make plans to do things together or even in a group. you both need some space. im telling you, it will help.

keeping in contact with her while your in this stage will only add salt/citrus to the wound. Your hurt, you need you time. Go back to the single life and remember what you used to do for fun and get back to that. Hang out witht he friends, do it for a week. A week from no to minumum contact with her and you should be fine

I would still like to know how women feel when they say this, I mean I know there is no way Im every going to completely understand but having some kinda of idea of what she fells might help me deside what I should do

well sorry, I'm no girl so the best I can do is give you adivce from personal experience and ppl that have come to me for advice. Usually "lets be friends" means that a) shes confused/lost about the relationship you have (maybe some concerns that were not discussed) b) she no longer has strong enough feelings to keep an on going relationship with you (women are clairevoyant, they know this stuff)

She may want to be friends but usually when a woman says that she wants to be friends, that is just a way of letting you down easy. I would just continue to give her the space and see what happens.

I know why she left me, that part I understand. What I dont understand is why she keeps telling me she wants to be friends then she freaks on me just because I say I would like to see her, its not like im gonna drive to her house right now. She was the one who brought up going to her birthday party. The convo went something like this:
ex g/f " only one month till my birthday, I hope your gonna be there for it"
me "I would like to be there, I wouldnt miss it for the world"
Then she snaps! going on about how I cant let her go and shit! This is the part I really dont understand. Does it sound like I said anything wrong?

/\ yes, I think us men are aware of that one too :crying:
Anyways, I still suggest getting back to your roots, keep innocent convo a must, but avoid talking about the past/future.


EDIT: This was suppose to be under coozy's post.
And no it does not seem like you did anything wrong, more like she is confused still about all that is happening

I know shes confused about whats going on, but Ive never seen her like this, From what I hear about her she seems to have gotten her life back on track

Well if she is going to get over it, no point in you living in the past. It's harder than it sounds I know, but baby steps ma man, baby steps.

well, thats good for her then.

you should try and do the same :thumbsup:

I know I need to move on, Im trying so hard too, but everything reminds me of her.Maybe its time I just said Fuck it, Fuck love, fuck life! I just wish I cold see her one last time so I know shes ok

Girl here... Ok I read your post a bunch of times before responding! I *think* since it is you that broke up with her she is probably hurt and angry and confused. She told you she wants to be friends jsut so that she didn't lose her friends. (like you posted!)

I think you should leave her be and if you run into her or she calls you great fine talk to her be nice. You have to be understanding that this is a NEW breakup (only 2 weeks old) and she has got to be hurting over it!

It sounds like you still love her and she still loves you so if you don't mind me asking... Why did you break up with her?

Was that no bullshitting, enough?

No, she left him....

We broke up because she wanted some time to herself, I can understand this, she had a bad past drugs, gangs that kinda stuff, she change alot for the better when I met her. What happened was when she had her time away from me she began to grow very, very distant. At first I wasnt that concerned, I trusted that she would do the right thing. After about a week of this I heard a romour that she had gotten back into her old ways, so I confronted her about it, I was worried about her who wouldnt have asked? I didnt want to pry all I wanted to know was if she had indeed gotten back into gangs, drugs and alcohol. She assured me she hadnt and I told her that if she ever did need to talk about anything I would always be there for her. She said she still needed more time and I was ok with that, I know her past and I wanted her to deal with it. Later I saw her someone had hit her and I pushed her to tell me what happened, but she wouldnt say anything. I tried to explain that I was only worried about her and i guess I pushed her to hard. I just want to say it was never my intention to push her that hard, all I cared about was her saftey, I even ended up putting my life on the line to protect her. She left me because she said I was being to " over protective" if there is such a thing. Well it did work she did clean herself up. So in the end if it was me that made herself clean again then I guess it was worth it, at least she is safe now.
For the record as far as im concerned the relationship ended 4 weeks ago it, thats when I started feeling i was loosing her, it did not end offically until 2 weeks ago when she told me she was leaving me

DOH! Smacks head... :sorry:

I was under the impression that you left her! :)

Ok, different view point then!
Now that you have clarified the whole situation it sounds to me like she is feeling guilty about something, and is trying to hide it. You know like if she really hasn't cleaned up her act... She wouldn't want you to know.

My best advice for you is to chalk this one up to life experience and move on. Find a girl that is normal (yes we do exist) and live a long and happy life!

How old are you if you don't mind me asking??

I sense a AF hook-up!

HAAHAAA!! Yeah, just don't tell my husband... :)

ooooo, nevermind then

Yeah, he tends to get territorial like that... :P

At this point I do know we will never be more than friends.All i really want to know if anyone thinks there is a chance that we can still be friends. BTW im 19, yes still young I know that. Raz nice try ....Ill leave it at that

You love the girl. How could you POSSIBLY be friends with a girl you're still in love with. Are you going to hang out with her and her new boyfriend and pretend you don't care? Think about it! Come on, man- what you want is an impossibility. The best thing to do is move on. Being around her is going to RIP YOU APART. She doesn't sound very stable anyway, and you are torturing yourself. Be the man, walk away and move on. It sucks, it hurts, but that's what you do.

yes i still do love her and I always will. riht now being away from her is ripping me apart. Before she became my G/F we were the best of friends, to be totally honest she was and still is the best friend I have ever had. I accepted her for who she was, is, and will become. I already explained if I leave her behind then I can forget about the rest of my friends. Right now I need all the friends I can get.

I don't get what the point of saying "Let's just be friends" or anything along those lines is and you don't mean it when you're breaking up with someone. Sure it's an easy way for the dumper to let the dumpee down but for the dumpee, it hurts more if they do expect to be friends. People just need to be honest.

So get this, I get home last night and she wrote me an e-mail that says some people come and leave footprints, soon the be washed away by the tides of live, Its the footprints of those that you love that leave everlasting marks on your heart, marks that cannot be washed away . So Im thinking thats kinda her way of telling me she wants me back so I call her and she just hangs up the phone. Any body got any idea what the fuck this means? Im way to upset right now to even try to comprehend a womens thought :crying:

honestly, tell her to stop playing games and to tell you what she wants.

Right now she wont even talk to me, WTF am I supposed to do?

Let her calm down and try and get things straighten out. If she really loved you as much as you love her, then she would try and talk toy ou about this. If she wont even try...then it's really not worth your time

this is my take on the subject.
She wrote you that message to let you know that you are special to her, but that she is letting it go. I get the impression that in referring to the footprints, she is talking about people who are GONE, so what I would assume from that message is that she is telling you goodbye. Let it go, honey. If she wants to be friends, let her approach you and do it on her terms. Just slowly back away and cahlk this up to a learning experience.

She is stringing you along and fucking with your heart for whatever reason. Normal people don't fuck with people like that.

I love you...
No, I hate you, you're smothering me!
Let's be friends....
I'll hang up on you when you call
You've left footprints in my heart...
Fuck off!

Sounds mental when someone else lays it out there, right? I've been where you are- get out now. Salvage what's left of your dignity, your pride and your sanity. Girls like this will FUCK YOU UP. The world is full of potential friends and potential girlfriends. I guarantee your life WILL NOT END if you cut this girl loose. And if you get lonely...Kaz is here 24 hours a day for emotional support.... :wink: :lol:

And if you get lonely...Kaz is here 24 hours a day for emotional support.... :wink: :lol:
:lol2: what am I an escort of some sort????
If so, I don't do guys....women only!!!

I think you guys are right, Im gonna write her one last time and tell her everything, if she doesnt respond im gonna cut her loose, Feels really bad knowing that I lived the past 2 years of my life only to get back right where I started :( No offence Raz, im not that lonely yet, but I think from this point I will call you a friend. Thanks to everyone who replied and gave me what I needed to know

Hey man anytime (being a friend that is, you can forget the escort services :greddy2: )

NO ESCORT SERVICE! :crying: J/K Raz Id settle for a bottle of hand lotion before I ever resorted to you, No offence or anything I still would prefer the female form and failing that myself, men thats not on the list so dont worry your safe Raz (from me at least I cant speak for the rest of the guys out there)

Ghost...when a woman tells you she wants to "Just be friends"...she is saying...hang around...wait for me to find someone else...if I can't find someone...you'll be there to fall back on...it will never work...if she loves you she wouldn't need her space..she would want to be with you all the time, miss you all the time, and not like the idea of wanting her "space"....
Honestly...you are better off moving on...don't be friends...cut your losses...don't be her fall guy...you sound like a nice caring young guy...there are many girls out there looking for someone like you...seek and destroy...lol

/\ Yea hes moving on to his lotion and I'm hoping to GOD he's gonna stick with that before...ahem...not even gonna say it

Ghost...when a woman tells you she wants to "Just be friends"...she is saying...hang around...wait for me to find someone else...if I can't find someone...you'll be there to fall back on...it will never work...if she loves you she wouldn't need her space..she would want to be with you all the time, miss you all the time, and not like the idea of wanting her "space"....
Honestly...you are better off moving on...don't be friends...cut your losses...don't be her fall guy...you sound like a nice caring young guy...there are many girls out there looking for someone like you...seek and destroy...lol

:1: !!!

Gloria, you wouldnt happen to be a girl would you? If so then you and RSX would make the ultimate evil parents

You can be the evil godfather of our demon spawn.

:lol2: I aint taking reponsibilaty for those fuck ups!!!

Gloria, you wouldnt happen to be a girl would you? If so then you and RSX would make the ultimate evil parents

Yes I am....and Thank you...my daughter thinks I am....lol...you don't have kids do you....(((shivers at the thought)))

not that I'm aware of....I'm only 17!!!!

:1: !!!

All I got was a +1 on that??????....and to think you wanted to create some little evil spawn with me....

:eek: To think you would even consider it if he posted something better than that!!!

http://files.automotiveforums.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=/500/200798gloria2.JPG

Well...at least I can think....Ohhhh a woman with a brain....and I accomplished that without drugs and alcohol....

Ahhh....17...that explains everything....

:thefinger

(To Gloria) I'll be over soon, my sweet little brainy peach. I'm a demon in the sack, you realize. No....seriously.... :evillol:

(To Gloria) I'll be over soon, my sweet little brainy peach. I'm a demon in the sack, you realize. No....seriously.... :evillol:


So your sister said....sorry...you should never take for granted I am a Supernoob....:evillol:

Mmm...venomous...I like that in a single mother...

ok back on topic now I wrote her the letter and sent it so Im committed now. thanks for all te advice it helped me alot. RSX-S777 whats with the split personality thing?? cause i know a good shrink who doesnt charge much :grinno: and leave Gloriahusk alone dont raz her to hard we dont want another repeat of the whole coozy thing