More evil invasion plans
YogsVR4
08-18-2003, 04:42 PM
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/news/index.cfm
BUSH'S SECRET PLAN TO INVADE THE MOON!
JUST months after liberating Iraq, President George W. Bush plans to bring freedom to another far-flung region, the moon. High-level Pentagon sources confirm that U.S. Marines and Air Force personnel are receiving special training from NASA in preparation for a massive 1,200-man invasion of Earth's satellite set for May 2004.
"The President's position is that when we planted a flag on the lunar surface in 1969, we in effect staked a claim to the moon under every principle of international law," reveals a Defense Department insider.
"Putting a large expeditionary force on the ground will back up that claim with muscle and allow us to make the moon America's 51st state." The far-sighted move could be a brilliant coup for the commander-in-chief.
"He believes that securing the moon for the United States will cement his legacy as one of our greatest presidents, just as the Louisiana Purchase did for Thomas Jefferson," explains the source.
When John F. Kennedy first set the goal of putting a man on the moon by the end of the decade back in 1961, the original intent was to claim the vast new territory for the United States, the source reveals.
"But by the time Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969, President Nixon was concerned that seizing the area might heat up the Cold War and was pointless since we didn't have the technology to colonize it at the time anyway," he says. "Now, of course, we do."
The plan, code-named Operation Soaring Liberty, remains top secret. "We know that the Europeans will raise a ruckus when we announce the moon is ours," explains the insider. "If we gave them any advance warning, they'd have the plan mired in a U.N. debate for years. The element of surprise is crucial here, as it was in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
"By the time the international community finds out about it, we'll have an army up there and no one could even dream of trying to dislodge us."
Details of the sneak-attack plan are hard to come by, although it's rumored that the ambitious scheme involves an armada of 100 space shuttle-like vehicles already under production by a well-known defense contractor.
Among the advantages cited by Bush advisors in planning sessions:
Our troops will face no resistance since the moon is uninhabited. Colonization will be easy because the moon is far closer than any planet. Huge oil reserves discovered on the moon by NASA earlier this year -- a still-classified development first reported in the April 15 issue of Weekly World News -- will meet America's energy needs for the next 100 years.
Congressional Democrats, who dislike unilateral U.S. action, signed on to the secret plan after the president made them an offer they couldn't refuse. "As a concession to Al Gore, who won a plurality of votes in the 2000 election, Bush has agreed to appoint him live-in governor of the moon," the source revealed.
Despite the shroud of secrecy, rumors about the upcoming invasion are making the rounds in diplomatic circles -- and Europe is hopping mad.
"The French feel they have just as much right to the moon as America, even though no Frenchman's ever risked his life in space and the closest one has got to the moon is in the writings of Jules Verne," the source says.
"The president disagrees. He told us, 'Many brave American astronauts have already sacrificed their lives in the space race -- we've earned the right to colonize the moon. And the entire universe.'"
By: MIKE FOSTER
Special Correspondent
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BUSH'S SECRET PLAN TO INVADE THE MOON!
JUST months after liberating Iraq, President George W. Bush plans to bring freedom to another far-flung region, the moon. High-level Pentagon sources confirm that U.S. Marines and Air Force personnel are receiving special training from NASA in preparation for a massive 1,200-man invasion of Earth's satellite set for May 2004.
"The President's position is that when we planted a flag on the lunar surface in 1969, we in effect staked a claim to the moon under every principle of international law," reveals a Defense Department insider.
"Putting a large expeditionary force on the ground will back up that claim with muscle and allow us to make the moon America's 51st state." The far-sighted move could be a brilliant coup for the commander-in-chief.
"He believes that securing the moon for the United States will cement his legacy as one of our greatest presidents, just as the Louisiana Purchase did for Thomas Jefferson," explains the source.
When John F. Kennedy first set the goal of putting a man on the moon by the end of the decade back in 1961, the original intent was to claim the vast new territory for the United States, the source reveals.
"But by the time Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969, President Nixon was concerned that seizing the area might heat up the Cold War and was pointless since we didn't have the technology to colonize it at the time anyway," he says. "Now, of course, we do."
The plan, code-named Operation Soaring Liberty, remains top secret. "We know that the Europeans will raise a ruckus when we announce the moon is ours," explains the insider. "If we gave them any advance warning, they'd have the plan mired in a U.N. debate for years. The element of surprise is crucial here, as it was in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
"By the time the international community finds out about it, we'll have an army up there and no one could even dream of trying to dislodge us."
Details of the sneak-attack plan are hard to come by, although it's rumored that the ambitious scheme involves an armada of 100 space shuttle-like vehicles already under production by a well-known defense contractor.
Among the advantages cited by Bush advisors in planning sessions:
Our troops will face no resistance since the moon is uninhabited. Colonization will be easy because the moon is far closer than any planet. Huge oil reserves discovered on the moon by NASA earlier this year -- a still-classified development first reported in the April 15 issue of Weekly World News -- will meet America's energy needs for the next 100 years.
Congressional Democrats, who dislike unilateral U.S. action, signed on to the secret plan after the president made them an offer they couldn't refuse. "As a concession to Al Gore, who won a plurality of votes in the 2000 election, Bush has agreed to appoint him live-in governor of the moon," the source revealed.
Despite the shroud of secrecy, rumors about the upcoming invasion are making the rounds in diplomatic circles -- and Europe is hopping mad.
"The French feel they have just as much right to the moon as America, even though no Frenchman's ever risked his life in space and the closest one has got to the moon is in the writings of Jules Verne," the source says.
"The president disagrees. He told us, 'Many brave American astronauts have already sacrificed their lives in the space race -- we've earned the right to colonize the moon. And the entire universe.'"
By: MIKE FOSTER
Special Correspondent
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taranaki
08-18-2003, 05:12 PM
:cwm27: :cwm27: :cwm27:
But if they acknowledge that the moon is unihabited,whom do they accuse of manufacturing the................. :wink:
But if they acknowledge that the moon is unihabited,whom do they accuse of manufacturing the................. :wink:
sidewinder69
08-18-2003, 06:00 PM
Officials have known for years that there is a gas station for interplanetary travel on the dark side of the moon.....are you telling me you didn't know!?!?!?!? :icon16:
BTW that's where Saddam is hiding the WMD. :D
BTW that's where Saddam is hiding the WMD. :D
Veyron
08-18-2003, 06:03 PM
:lol2: That would be perfect for Al, since he invented the moon anyway, but his ideas smell more like there from Uranus. :eek:
NSX-R-SSJ20K
08-19-2003, 10:47 AM
Nice but i wonder if Wal mart will put a shop up before they get there.
aw man this thing is tiny by the way its a crap edit of Wal mart on the moon.
aw man this thing is tiny by the way its a crap edit of Wal mart on the moon.
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